This post is the first of a multi-part series of looking at how we can communicate more compassionately to people in pain and how we can garner more comfort when we need it.
Let’s start with how you can comfort someone else, and let’s start with three “do’s” of communicating to comfort:
1. Know your goal. Do you seriously want to help or do you take the opportunity to share your own war stories?
2. Ask the person in pain what she or he needs. I will ask my husband, when he’s going through something difficult, to tell me what he needs at the moment: for me to just listen and let him vent or for me to listen and then suggest and try to help. Bottom line: communicating to comfort is not accomplished without becoming other-person centered. It’s finding out what he/she needs and trying to provide that, not saying what you think the other needs to hear.
3. Get professional help is you believe the other person needs it, and despite your good intentions (and good communication), you’re not qualified to help.
*Excerpted my from book Why Did I Say That? Communicating to keep your credibility, your cool, and your cash! For more in-depth information on this and many other life-critical communication topics, go to my website for a discount price on the book or the book on 4CDs. I promise the information will improve your relationships at work and at home, will save you money, and empower you. And net proceeds go to a very needy cause: www.mooreoncommunication/products
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