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Moore on Communication | Ronnie Moore: Changing Lives by Changing Communications…At Work & At Home

If they’re difficult, narcissistic, or just plain thoughtless…

January 8, 2012

I just experienced a nasty neighbor. Without a lot of detail (this is a blog, not a book after all:-), suffice it to say that whether it’s the stress of the economy, machines disconnecting us from real human interaction, spoiled and entitled people, or even narcissists, we do not always get the nice treatment we deserve.

That said, what do we do when we have to communicate with a neighbor, colleague, boss, relative, or stranger in the store who doesn’t play fair, blames you for their bad acts, or talks over and around you? Three quick and helpful tips:

1. Remember that you can not change his/her value system (who the person is). At best you can change behavior (what he or she does). Think of creative ways to get him or her to do that….perhaps a benefit to this difficult person. What it’s “only fair” or “the right thing to do” usually won’t get you anywere. If this person’s values were like yours, you wouldn’t have the problem in the first place, most likely.

2. Keep your emotions in check. Yelling, crying, or other signs of loss of control means a controlling person has you exactly where he or she wants you.

3. Don’t apologize for having to report him/her to the authorities, home owners association, or the boss. The problem is in the bad behavior, not in the reporting of it.

For more information re how to handle this and other critical communications in your life–at home and at work, check out my book and book on CDS on my website product page: www.whydidisaythat.net OR www.mooreoncommunication.com

Thanks, Ronnie Moore aka Moore on Communication

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